Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2014 0:56:53 GMT -6
P.S. I am hoping to make this into a short film when I get some funds to do so.
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"The Sales Rep"
An Original Short Story By Chucky's Playground's own
Gerard Von Hooten
"The Doctor"
It's 8 AM. I am just waking up after a 3 1/2 hour sleep. I was up late and couldn't sleep because I was already dreading the day ahead. Day in day out it's the same old shit, different faces, different people, different stories, but the same old situation... customers. I think about what Randal said in "Clerks"... "This job would be better if it weren't for the customers" He is 100% right. Especially if you're working in a store that also does repairs. That's where the real assholes like to shine their brovado towards me. It's peak season and I sell faulty products... so I am sure to see these assholes coming into my store today.
I look in the mirror. I say to myself "Jesus Jim... how the hell did you end up here?" Of course I always here these gurus talking about grabbing life by the horns and being the master of you're own destiny. I think they're right, but then I also think that all of us are a slave to this American Consumer Culture that all of our ancestors fought and died in wars so we can live this meaningless life of shopping malls.
I make myself coffee as if it's the only thing that's going to jump start my sanity before I head into another day in hell with florecent lighting. Of course... I spill grinds all into the coffee maker. "FUCK!" I yell out. I try to think about what that book, "The Secret" had said about negitive attitudes only begetting negative days. Luckily It's only 8:10 and I don't have to be in work for a while yet. So I clean my grinds, make my coffee, and enjoy some music.
I finally get the nerve to get my clothes on and freshen up for the day. I usually leave with just enough time to get to work. Sad, because I got up nearly two hours ago and yet... I am always just getting to work if not I am always late by a few minutes. I never used to be like this, but I guess between being under paid, working alone in a dead end store, and my boss not giving a fuck about me let alone his business... why break a sweat. Still... I hate being late.
I stop to a local convenient store. Of course there is some old fucker holding up the line to play the lottery. I think to myself "Why bother?" This idiot is taking up the time of everyone who has to be somewhere, spending what remains of his pension, and will most likely die of a heart attack if he does win. It's on the tip of my tounge, "Let's GO!" Of course I bite my tounge. The old man looks back at me and smiles. My first instinct is "What the fuck is he looking at? Maybe I should do us all a favor and strangle the life out of him" But then I look into his eyes and see that he is being sincere in his efforts. For a brief moment I find myself thinking "What the hell is wrong with me?" I never used to be like this. Has this society really decayed my decency.
The guy in front of me quickly steps off to the side and grabs a candy bar. "I'll take the next person" the nice looking cashier says. This cashier is probably the highlight of my day since I will be working in solitude for the rest of the day, and it's rare I get people below the age of 50 in my store as no one cares about shopping at local business's for appliances anymore. "What the fuck man. You cut in front of me!" The guy who stepped out of the line snaps at me. "I barely stepped out of the line". I then say, "Sorry, but I have to get to work". He says "So do I asshole". I want to say "Eat shit and die mother fucker" but instead I just look at him, give a bit of a smile, and say "Sorry" as I walk out of there.
I make it to work... 2 minutes late. Doesn't matter since no one is rushing to get in, but still... I never used to be like this. Thank God my boss is clueless because I think if it were my business I would be furious if my worker came in late most of the time. The first hour goes by rather quickly as I haven't had a person in the store yet. The next hour the same... time to take a smoke break. I stand outside enjoying the first puff of my cigarette with complete bliss. All of a sudden I see this heavyset guy getting out of his car and walking towards the store. I am not sure if he is coming in here or going into one of the stores next to me so I just continue to enjoy the smoke I just lit up. He looks like he going into one of the other stores. "Phew" I think because I really want to finish my smoke. Then... he does this weird angle turn and heads right towards my store. I quickly put out my cigarette and follow him into my store and say with a slightly sharpened tone "How can I help you" He says "Oh I'm sorry. You were having a smoke break" Well... you don't need to be smoking anyway" I want to desparately say to him "Fuck you. Who the fuck are you to tell me what I can or can't do with my body you fat fuck. Do I interupt your lunch and tell you to put down your burger. And who the fuck are you to be giving me "My Body is My Temple" lectures when you look like the poster child for for deep fried foods you dumb fat bottom feeding piece of shit cocksucker"
Of course... I bite my tounge, lighty laugh, and proceed with my sales pitches. At least he bought something semi decent so I guess the juice was worth the squeeze. In all actuality he was actually a cool guy. I guess I have been doing this for so long that customers and human beings have become two different species to me. Humans have compassion, and logic. Customers are greedy, expect something for nothing, and are the display the worst in what today's society has to offer. Sometimes I actually have to sit and remind myself that these are people and maybe I am being too negative before they give me real reason to be. I never used to be like this.
It's half way through the day and I finally get the nerve to work on some repairs. Part of me likes this, but I hate getting into the guts of a machine and getting into a grove only to be interupted at every turn. I work on a few different items, and out of the blue... my boss calls with another one of his famous stupid requests that'll only waste my time... and he'll end up not wanting done anyway. "Ugh" I say to myself then procede to call other local business and pose as a customer to get info out of them. I tell him the same thing everytime "We're all doing bad" In this economy and with everyone having a "Wal-Mart" mentality... is it really a shock?
I was about to do my employer's goofy request only to be interuppted by a woman who is extremely pissed that her toaster isn't working. "THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT TROUBLE SINCE DAY ONE!!!" She screams at me. She then hands me her receipt... and it turns out she didn't buy it from me or this store. "YOU BETTER FIX IT OR REPLACE IT!!!" I explain to her that I can't replace it since she didn't buy it from this store... God forbid any logic seep into her small brain. I told her that I can fix it for free since it's under warranty but like many other's before her... that's not good enough. This woman is really pissing me off with her fucking nouveau riche hair cut, and upity attitude. I am sure all of her achievements in life happened while she was lying flat on her back and her legs up in the air if you know what I mean. Again, I start to second guess myself because It's not good to judge people and why am I being so judgemental? I never used to be like this.
I politely take her broken piece of shit toaster to look at it. I go in the work area which is in the back of the store. She just takes it upon herself to go back with me which she isn't supposed to because it's an "Employee Only" area. I relay this to her... "I DON"T GIVE A FUCK!" she tells me as I continue to look at her toaster. She keeps shouting at me, and giving me a hard time. I find myself getting more angry as she continues to be the biggest bitch on the planet. I finally get a little sharp with her "Maam, you didn't buy it here and I didn't build the fucking thing. So how is this my fault?" This only enraged her more "JIM, Don't you fucking talk to me that way. How dare you. I am going to call the Better Business Bureau, then I am calling my husband, then you're going to be..."
Before I knew it, I had taken the nail pulling end of a hammer and jammed into into the top of her skull. She fell to the floor twitching until her life finally left her body. I felt paniced and scared. I cry because I didn't mean for this to happen but something took over as if by instinct. "Get a Grip Jim" I say to myself as I splash water onto my face while looking in the mirror. "I can't go to prison" I then say to myself. "Okay, Let's fix this." After thinking and tightening my sphincter I start planning on how to cover this up. I taker her belongings then I throw her body into the furnace. Thinking it would burn up therefore destroying the evidence. After a couple of hours her bones had remained and weren't going to burn. "FUCK, FUCK... FUUUCCCCKKK!!!" I shout out. Figuring out how to fix this I take her bones out and start grinding them into dust using the belt sander and bench grinder. Watching each fragment fall into a garbage bag I start thinking about what to do about her belongings. I use her credit card to buy something nice... may as well get the good commission and spiff for my troubles. Then I think... "Shit... I'm a fucking idiot!" because they'll trace her last purchase here. Even if I do a credit return it still ends up here. My shift ends so I take her car and drive it to Wal-Mart. I managed to purchase something with her credit card and I go ahead and leave everything in her vehicle after wiping my prints and inspecting it for hairs. I then walk the half mile back to my vehicle and drive off.
I am home now. A few hours have passed and I am thinking for sure that the police will arrive any moment to talk to me. I am sitting in my kitchen staring at the clock and fidgeting because I am a nervous wreck. I then think "Fuck... I never did that errand for my boss" I then laugh at the irony that even after taking someone's life I still have regular work bullshit on my mind. "Jim... you have issues" I say to myself. Another couple hours pass and I am now feeling more comfortable. I don't know if it's because I am to tired to feel nervous, feeling like I might actually get away with this... or the fact that if actually felt kinda good to stand up for myself depsite someone having to die for it. I then start feeling bad because I shouldn't be feeling good about killing someone. She has a family and now I hurt them. Her husband must be worried and she may have kids. "Damn... what have I done... I never used to be like this"
I turn off the light in my bedroom and just as I am about to slip into my covers I fell something grab the top of my head by my hair and pull my head back. Before I can even react I feel a cold piece of metal cut into the tender flesh of my neck and quicky slit across the length of my throat. I can feel my hand getting wet from the blood flowing down out my throat. My body and the side of my head hit the ground. This I do not feel... at all. The light turns on and I see the feet of the man who did this. Everything is slightly going out of focus like the lense on a camera. I see my predator take off his ski mask. I am now at peace because afterall... he is just another slave. Another cog in this Consumer Culture Machine so I now understand and have a sense of clarity as to how this makes sense. Before my life fleas completely he looks at me and says...
"You shouldn't have cut in front of me"
